The Most Difficult Wedding I've Ever Shot.

I don’t mean that in the technical sense - I don’t mean that the venue had a horrible lighting situation. I don’t mean there were crazy weather complications, gear malfunctions or that I had to deal with an unruly bride, groom or guests. But at the time of this wedding, I was dealing with a tragic life event.

One week prior to this wedding, my brother had suddenly passed away. This was something that I could have never thought possible. I want to remind people that this blog of mine, it’s not just a photography blog where I talk about technicalities and camera settings. But more of what I am thinking and going through when shooting an event.

I have never been put in a situation like this before. My brother was the man! Not just a guy in the family, but he was THE GUY in our family. So when he unexpectedly passed, it hit the whole family like a ton of bricks. Personally I felt like everything changed that night, including myself. I knew that it was my time to change as a person. I knew that I had to be there for my family more than ever before. But now I was caught in a big dilemma. Should I cancel shooting this wedding with just days notice for this bride and groom? Should I be with my family? Should I be as professional as I can for this couple that I had already made promises to? Could I even handle shooting such a big family event with love while dealing with my own grief?

I went back and forth on these questions for days until I finally decided to take on the challenge. I needed a break from the personal grieving and pain. I notified the couple of my decision to proceed with the event as planned. I knew that the couple was put in a difficult spot as well, do they reach out and ask about what my plans are knowing what I’m dealing with?

I felt like shooting this event would give me the personal space I needed and kind of get lost in the art of shooting. I always found comfort when shooting. As soon as my eye is behind the viewfinder, I’m in my own world. I wanted to use my art to push past the pain I was dealing with and bring some happiness to others.

In the end, I’m glad I did because overall these pictures convey that life is precious is beautiful - love is precious and beautiful. Life can be really heavy sometimes and things happen that are out of our control but we have a choice to still see the beauty and hope in life. I know my brother would’ve wanted me to continue doing what I love and what brings me joy because that’s how he lived his life - to the fullest always- full of life and full of love.